Back to Basics: Mental Health Is Something Kids Build at Home

Mental health isn’t something you inherit like eye color—it’s something we build, like strength. And just like physical fitness, mental fitness requires consistent care, support, and practice.

This is where pediatricians come in. Because while therapy and school interventions are critical tools, mental health doesn’t start in a clinic. It starts at home. Around the dinner table. On a walk after school. In the way parents breathe through a tantrum or check in after a hard day.

One of the most powerful things you can offer families—especially those feeling overwhelmed or unsure—is this message: you already have the tools to start building your child’s mental health.

Mental Fitness Is a Family Practice

Many caregivers didn’t grow up talking about mental health. To them, resilience meant pushing through. Emotions weren’t discussed—they were managed, or worse, ignored.

Today, we know better. Mental health is something we can build—on purpose, over time. As healthcare providers, we can help families understand that this doesn’t require a formal program. Mental hygiene can be part of everyday life.

It can look like:

• A walk around the block, letting the child set the pace.
  
  
• Getting outside—even just to touch a tree or feel the sun.
  
  
• Breathing together when things get overwhelming: “Let’s try this together—five slow breaths.”
  
  
• Asking concrete questions: “Did you and Jordan finish your art project?” works better than “How was school?”

When you normalize these small, grounding practices in your clinical conversations, you give parents permission to start where they are—and to stop waiting for a crisis.

Recommend a Weekly Family Check-In

One of the most effective, low-lift tools for families is a weekly debrief. Think of it like a mental health Shabbat—a consistent time to reflect, reset, and reconnect.

Encourage families to make it their own, but suggest simple prompts like:

• Peach and Pit: What was one of the highlights of your week? And what was tough? How might we take that “pit” and plant it?
• Rose, Thorn, Bud: Similar to Peach and Pet, this method asks you to choose one highlight, one low point, and one thing you’re looking forward to in the weeks ahead. 
• Did anyone do something funny today? Humor is a form of mental hygiene, too. Plus, asking a specific question about what amused your child can feel low stakes. Sometimes, asking “how was school” can feel like a performance question. 

These rituals don’t just foster connection—they help kids build emotional vocabulary, self-awareness, and a sense of agency.

It’s okay if kids resist at first. Let parents know that modeling is key. “You know what made me smile today? I heard my favorite song in the car. Totally turned my mood around.” That’s the kind of leadership that sticks.

Help Families Build Before the Crisis

One of the most important mindset shifts we can offer families is this: mental health isn’t about fixing something that’s broken. It’s about building strength ahead of time.

Encourage parents to think of mental hygiene like brushing teeth. You don’t wait for a cavity—you do it every day, because that’s what keeps things healthy.

When caregivers model apologizing, labeling emotions, or asking for help in front of children, they’re teaching essential skills. And when we, as pediatricians, affirm these practices—even in five-minute well-child visits—we help normalize them as critical parts of health. 

Mental Health Starts Where Kids Live

As we enter Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s not focus solely on warning signs or diagnoses. Let’s also focus on emotional fitness. On equipping families with practical tools. On helping them see that building mental strength is something they can do every day.

It doesn’t take an hour. Sometimes it starts with a breath. A question. A walk.

We’re not born with mental health—but we are all capable of growing it. And with the right support, families can too.

‍